A common stereotype amongst Americans is that the French are rude and cold. Yet, this often comes from Americans unknowingly breaking some French cultural norm accidentally and offending someone. Enjoy France and its wonderful people to the fullest by mastering French etiquette and learning about these 10 common cultural faux pas Americans make!
Table of Contents
- Greetings
- Being too informal, too soon
- Only speaking English
- Rushing meals
- Changing the menu
- Not saying “Bonjour!”
- Tipping culture
- Being loud
- Cheers!
- Conversation taboos
- Market etiquette
Greetings
Get comfortable with la bise! The French don’t hug or give handshakes like Americans generally do with friends or family. Try greeting a new French friend with two quick air kisses on the cheeks, starting with the left then the right. While it may be a little awkward at first, this part of French etiquette is crucial for making a good first impression. You’ll get the hang of it!
Being too informal, too soon
Americans are known for being quick to make friends, however in France you may want to be careful that you are not too friendly too quick. French etiquette and cultural norms largely center around respect for others and showing deference when appropriate. An easy way to avoid this is using ‘vous’ instead of ‘tu’ when speaking to someone in French. ‘Tu’ is the informal way to say ‘you’ where ‘vous’ is the formal way to address someone. If you are not very close with someone, or you are speaking with a stranger, ‘vous ‘is the appropriate way to address someone. You can also address people as ‘madame’ or ‘monsieur’ when you first meet them as a sign of respect.
Only speaking English
With many French people speaking English, it may seem easier to start with your native language. However, don’t assume everyone speaks English! This is a common cultural faux pas amongst Americans throughout the world. When first speaking to someone, try saying, “Bonjour! Je ne parle pas Français, est-ce que vous parlez Anglais?” This means, “Hello! I do not speak French, do you speak English?” Even if this is the only phrase you know, it will go a long way with the French!
Rushing meals
In France, meals are not to be rushed. They are meant to be enjoyed, a time to share good food and conversation. If you are eating out at a restaurant, you will find that it is rare for French people not to finish their plates. If you don’t finish your plate, they may assume there was something wrong with the meal. To show you really loved the meal, take a piece of bread from the bowl and wipe your plate clean with the bread! While this may seem like bad manners in other cultures, this is an important part of dining etiquette in France.
Another aspect of this cultural norm is the frequency of service in restaurants. In America, it’s expected for your waiter to check up on you often, and be available at all times. In France, the relationship between the waiter and the client is very different. Americans may feel that their waiter is neglecting them by not checking on them throughout their meal or bringing their check. However, in France, it would be considered rude and pestering for the waiter to interrupt your meal so often! Don’t be afraid to politely signal to your waiter if you need anything during your meal, or when you are ready for the check. If you are in a hurry or need to leave by a certain time, you may want to tell your waiter in advance. You can learn more about the differences between French and American wait staff by clicking here.
Changing the menu
As you may have guessed, the French take their food very seriously. When a chef creates a menu item at a restaurant, they expect diners to enjoy it the way they intended. In France, asking to remove certain ingredients or making substitutions is the same as asking to remove an instrument from a song. Of course, you can always ask to make changes, but do not be surprised if the chef refuses your request. The only exception to this rule would be if you have allergies, in which case you should let your waiter know before ordering or call ahead to see if they can accommodate this. They might say no!
Not saying “Bonjour!”
There is a joke amongst non-native French speakers that if a Frenchman’s house is burning down, he will run as fast as he can to the fire station, say “Bonjour,” then ask for help. Though this is an exaggeration, it is not too far off from reality. When you’re interacting with anyone in France, you should always start with “bonjour” or “bonsoir” before continuing. This especially applies to store owners or people in the service industry. This simple piece of French etiquette will go a long way!
Tipping culture and French Etiquette
Tipping culture is vastly different between the United States and France. In America, many workers in the service industry rely on tips to make up their salary. In France, service industry workers do not rely on tips the same way, and do not always expect them. While tipping does exist in France, it is usually significantly less than in America and is given only for exceptional service. A typical tip for a dinner in France can be anywhere from 3-10% of the total check.
Being loud
If you are dining out at a restaurant, make sure your voice is not towering over others. The French can get very annoyed by “loud Americans”. A key part of French etiquette is being aware of those around you. So, people may see talking or laughing loudly in public as bad manners. As long as you are aware of your volume and other patrons, this should not be a problem. If you are more interested in enjoying your conversation than worrying about volume, you may consider sitting outside at a terrace.
Cheers!
When you make a toast/cheers (‘Tchin tchin’ or ‘santé’ as one would say in French) eye contact with each individual at the table is key. This comes from an old superstition that breaking eye contact during a cheers can cause 7 years of bad luck.
Conversation taboos
Generally speaking, the French don’t tend to ask personal questions. It is considered quite rude to talk about money, especially how much one makes. Moreover, if the topic of business comes up, make an effort not to linger on this for the entirety of the conversation, as there are several (more interesting) topics the French would generally prefer to discuss. When in doubt, a safe topic is always to talk about food.
French etiquette at the Market
One of the great elements of everyday French life is the local farmers markets. It may be tempting to handle produce at these markets like how you might in a grocery store – but this is a big cultural faux pas. Instead of taking the products you are interested in, ask the vendor for the amount you would like. They will then gather the produce for you. If you are interested in a particular item, you can ask specifically for that product by kindly pointing it out to them.
Now you’re ready!
Knowing these social taboos will help you to integrate into French society and be much more respected as an American living in Paris. So, now that you are more aware of these 10 cultural faux pas in France, it is time to go explore, dine, and meet and greet (the French way) in your new country!
Other articles
Be sure to read our other articles on life in France:
How to Vote in US Elections Abroad
How to Picnic in Paris like a Parisian
How to Move to Paris as a Family
How to Bring Your Pets to France