For Pride Month 2025, we wanted to share with you all the realities of life in France as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. In our other article for Pride month, we discussed LGBTQ+ rights in France and shared a wonderful list of LGBTQ+ resources. We realize, however, that understanding the legal rights of the LGBTQ+ community does not fully encompass the experience of a queer person in France. As such, one of our friends offered to write an article for us about her experience as a trans woman in France.
This is Maria’s story.
France Saved My Life.
My name is Maria Sophia De Bianci. I am a 60 year-old, pre-op transgender woman who came to France as a married guy late in 2020. I came to France to save my marriage. In mid-2023, the marriage collapsed, I moved out, and my world ended. I was lost with no plan for my future.
For my entire life before my divorce, I had been a part-time transvestite. I started at age four when I wore my sister’s dresses-a familiar story for girls like me. As I matured, I began dressing fully and very occasionally went out, but only ever to friendly venues. Maria was a secret. I always felt fearful. Afraid of discovery, of abuse, of rejection and ridicule. At 6 feet 4 inches tall, I knew I would never blend in. Whenever I thought about transitioning I quickly said ‘no’ because I feared the ridicule and rejection of others. I genuinely thought that life would be impossible as a woman.
I married in 2002, having stopped dressing after I was abused when out as Maria. Maria was banned from my marriage, but I was ok with that. I thought that Maria did nothing but make my life impossible, even though I was only ever happy as Maria. Roll forward to 2023 and divorce. I bought a small house in a tiny village in Charente because it was all I could afford. That was the luckiest moment of my life.
I bought a small house in a tiny village in Charente because it was all I could afford. That was the luckiest moment of my life.
In all my time as a guy I had no self-love and no confidence. I was withdrawn and sullen-that was my dysphoria. After recovering from the divorce, I took a moment to think about what made me happy; naturally I thought of Maria. I wasn’t confident enough to go straight from being a guy to being Maria, so I spent a month dressing in a hybrid style–mixing men’s and women’s clothes and occasionally adding a little makeup. I was testing the waters to see how people reacted.
Apart from positive reactions, there was absolutely no reaction. I was just accepted. This acceptance of difference made me believe that life as Maria could be possible. That acceptance by others changed my outlook and my life; without it, I would still be a miserable guy.
On September 1st 2023, I started life as Maria. That day was the day I first started living in color, and since then my life has become truly wonderful. My birthday party later in September, my first as Maria, was a moment full of love and support. I was surrounded by friends and neighbors, French and expat alike, and it was beautiful. It was the best party of my life.
I wasn’t initially sure about medical transition, but the more I lived as Maria the more my life made sense, and the more essential it became. I have to align my body with my identity and eliminate that stress from my life. With the support of the team at CHU Bordeaux, I have been on hormones since mid-2024, and my first surgery is planned for late 2025. And, amazingly, I recently got engaged to a local French woman who sees me entirely as the woman I am.
I came to France to save my marriage. Instead, because of the acceptance I have found, France has helped make me a confident woman and saved my life.
Looking for Transgender Resources in France?
Live life to the fullest with these helpful organizations and institutions!
- Map of trans-friendly doctors in France
- Map of Trans-organizations in France
- Le Planning Familial is the French version of Planned Parenthood
- Queers Beyond Borders is an organization that specializes in aiding LGBTQ+ expats in settling into their new country
- Centre LGBTQI+ de Paris et île de France
- For more LGBT+ groups, check out the Centre LGBTQI+’s list of members.
Ready to get your Carte Vitale and get access to France’s Free Gender-Affirming Care?
If you’ve been living in France for more than 3 months, you qualify for French social security and access to the French public healthcare system! Learn how we can help you get your carte vitale as quickly and easily as possible.
Learn more about LGBTQ+ rights and resources in France!
