Moving to a new country can bring up lots of emotions in a child: confusion, excitement, anxiety, and more. So how can you help your children not only adapt to life in a new country, but thrive? This article will explore how to prepare your child for the move, and how to help them adjust once you have arrived. Be sure to also check out our interview with our CEO and experienced expat mom, Justyna Simmons, at the end of the article!
Table of contents
- How to tell your child you’re moving to a new country
- Preparing your child before the move
- Adjusting to life in a new country
- My child is struggling to adjust, how can I help?
- Advice from an expat mom
- You’re doing great!
- Have suggestions?
How to tell your child you’re moving to a new country
When presented with big news, children often base their reaction off how the information is presented to them. So, the best way to get your child excited about your move is to be excited when you tell them! Including some tangible representations of the country like local foods or pictures may also help them to better understand where they are going.
Be ready for questions
Any parent can tell you that a child’s favorite question is “Why?” This conversation will be no different. Be prepared to explain to your child why you are moving, for how long you will be moving, and what this means for them and the life they have built in their home country. Will you visit for holidays? How will they stay in touch with friends? Will they be able to continue playing their favorite sports? Will your family pet becoming with you? Having the answers to these questions will make the initial conversation easier for your child, and will help them to feel more in control of the situation.
Get them excited for the move
Having something to look forward to in their new country will help children to be excited for the move. Maybe there’s a theme park near by, or a zoo with their favorite animal you can plan on visiting once you arrive. You can also spark excitement by involving them in decisions regarding the move. Maybe they can help you to pick your new home, or they can pick the decorations for their new room. Keeping your child involved in these decisions will help them to remember that you are moving as a family.
Preparing your child for the move
Moving to a new country means new foods, cultural norms, traditions, holidays, and often a new language. A great way to make the transition easier for your child is by incorporating some of these new things into your child’s life before the move. Try cooking a traditional (and kid friendly) meal from your new country, or celebrating a holiday from your new country with your child. Having an idea of what to expect will help your child adapt to life in a new country easier.
Learning the language
A huge aspect of preparing your child for life in a new country is helping them to learn the language. Even if your child’s new school will be taught in a language they already know, learning the country’s language will help them to feel more comfortable once they arrive. Having at least a base understanding of the language and knowing a few words can go a long way with children, and will help them to make new friends once you arrive.
A great way to do this is to start watching their favorite shows in your new country’s language. You can also use a VPN to see what shows are available in your new country for children. Watching TV in the language of the country you will be moving to is not only a great way to help them learn the language, but will also provide a common ground for your child with other children in the country.
You can also help your child to learn a new language by making an effort yourself! Learning a few words and phrases and incorporating them into your everyday life can go a long way with helping children to understand the context and meaning of new vocabulary. It may also be beneficial for you, and your child, to look into groups or organizations near you related to your new country of residence. Giving your child opportunities to be immersed in the new language and culture is key to helping them learn and prepare for this new chapter of their life.You may also want to consider hiring a private tutor for your child or enrolling them in language lessons to help them.
Adjusting to life in a new country
Once you have arrived in your new country, it’s important to hit the ground running when it comes to helping your child adapt.
Keeping your promises
When you were preparing to move, you may have made some promises to your child to help get them excited. Now is the time to keep those promises! Your child may feel a bit uncertain now that you have arrived in your new home country, so keeping your promises and reminding them that they can trust you will help them to feel more confident. If you cannot fulfill all of your promises right away, create a plan with your child and give them an exact date they will be fulfilled on.
Establishing routines
Most parents know that a consistent routine is key for helping your child feel confident and prepared for the day ahead. When moving to a new country, you will need to establish a new routine for your child as many things have changed. Keeping parts of this routine the same as in their home country is a great way to help them adjust. Once you arrive, sit down with your child and go through their new routine with them so they know what to expect in the days to come.
Keeping the excitement alive
Now that you have arrived in your new country, seek out kid-friendly events and spaces to help keep them excited about the move. Visiting local parks or playgrounds will give them opportunities to connect with other children their age and practice their language skills. To stay up to date on events in Paris, subscribe to our monthly newsletter!
My child is not adjusting, what do I do?
Like anyone, children may struggle to adapt to life in a new country at first. Foreign languages, funny foods, and new cultural norms can be overwhelming for many children. There are several ways you can help your child to adapt to life in a new country if they are having a difficult time.
Language barriers
For many children, the hardest part of the move is learning a new language and making friends in that language. If your child is unable to comfortably communicate with their peers, it can make the move particularly difficult and may leave them feeling excluded. Luckily, you can often find language tutors in your area specifically focused on helping expat children. If a language tutor is not an option for your family, consider investing in some workbooks or other language learning resources and working with your child yourself. Even if you do not speak the language, going through prepared lessons together will not only help their skills, but will remind them that you are in this together!
Finding friends
If your child is struggling to make friends in their new country, they’re not alone. Many expat children encounter this set back when they have just arrived. Language barriers, cultural differences, and simply being the new kid can make it hard for expat children to make friends at first. Finding expat communities where your child can interact with other children that may be from the same home country as them, or at least understand what they are going through can be hugely beneficial. We recommend looking on Facebook for expat groups in your new home to find these communities.
Therapy
If your child is truly struggling with the move, you may want to consider reaching out to a therapist for help. While some may be hesitant to put their child in therapy, it can be a hugely beneficial step towards your child adjusting to life in a new country. While in-person therapy is typically preferable, if you are unable to find one that meets your needs and speaks your child’s native language, you may consider finding an online therapist. If you are looking to find an English speaking therapist for your child in France, SPRINT France is a great resource. They have a great selection of therapists, and can recommend you options based on your child’s needs.
Advice from an expat mom
In this video Your Friend in Paris co-founder and CEO shares about her experiences as an expat mom and advice she has for others!
You’re doing great!
Any transition can be difficult, both for parents and children. Be sure to take some time for yourself as well. You’re doing a great job, and things will smooth out over time. A great resource for getting your footing in Paris is Message Paris!
Have suggestions?
Do you have any suggestions for fellow expat parents out there? Let us know at contact@yourfriendinparis.com!