You did it! You followed your dreams and are finally living in Paris… But now what? Cultural differences, unfamiliar surroundings, and the reality of living in a foreign country can suddenly become much more intimidating once you start to settle in. No need to fear, here are 10 tips to help you thrive in your new home.
Table of Contents
- Make your move purposeful
- Confidence is key
- Find your people
- Learn the metro
- Take notes
- Stay connected to your culture
- Embracing “laissez faire”
- Learn the French schedule
- Find your staple products
- Stop and smell the roses
Make your move purposeful
Moving to a new country is not a small thing. This took months of research, planning, learning, and effort. You decided to live in Paris for a reason. Maybe you wanted to immerse yourself in the culture, or maybe you moved to get a fresh start! Whatever your reason for moving was, don’t lose sight of that.
Many people get so caught up in the whirlwind of moving that once the dust settles they aren’t sure what to do. Remembering why you wanted to move will help you to answer that big question.
Our biggest tip for those struggling with finding purpose after their move is to set goals for yourself! Maybe you have a big goal, like to finish your memoir by the end of the summer, or maybe you have a smaller goal, like finding the best croissant in your arrondissement. Whatever your goals are, keep them in mind! They will help to guide you through this transition period and start living the good life in Paris.
Confidence is key
France has a distinct and rich culture, that manifests itself in many ways. One key aspect of this culture is being direct and confident in communications. You can see this in the way that protests shut down the streets, or the way someone will tell you that they simply cannot understand your French because of your accent.
This kind of directness can be difficult for expats whose home cultures take a more “gentle” approach, especially when you are new and still finding your footing. For those that are still developing the thick skin that comes with living abroad, we do have some advice for you.
You will make mistakes. You will do something embarrassing, and a French person will comment on it. It happens to all of us, and it’s okay! Making a mistake is a great thing because it means two things: You put yourself out there and tried, and you learned. Accepting that you will make mistakes, and that it is totally fine to do so, is the first step to developing the French confidence.
Find your people
Finding new friends as an adult can be hard- no matter where you’re living. So, how do you find friends in a new city where you don’t know anyone? Before we get to meeting people, it’s important to know that different cultures treat friendships differently. The French develop friendships very slowly and over time. So, if a French person seems cold towards you at first, this is not a sign that they won’t become a friend later on! Don’t try to rush things, let your friendships form naturally with people that you enjoy being around.
So where do you find these new potential friends? That depends on you!
Join a club or community!
One great way to meet new people is to join groups centered around your interests. If you enjoy painting, why not join a painting class? If you’re not yet ready to only speak French with a friend, there are plenty of English-speaking clubs and organizations that you can join!
Social media groups
It should go without saying, but always be extremely careful when meeting someone you met online, and never share too much personal information!
Moving to a new country can feel isolating, especially if you don’t speak the language. But, you’re not alone! Look for Facebook groups focused on connecting people from your home country living in Paris, you might be surprised to find how many there are! These groups can be a great source of support when you’re still adjusting to life in Paris. Whether its recommendations for restaurants, or sharing the information of a doctor that speaks your language, these groups can be great resources.
Many of these groups also have regular meet ups and activities planned! Attending these can provide a great opportunity to meet people who know what you’re going through, and share a common interest.
Go outside!
It may seem like silly advice, but if you’re like me, sometimes you need a bit of a nudge to actually put yourself out there. Go to a bar after work, go to a museum on the weekend, go for a run along the seine instead of in a gym! Whatever gets you outside is another opportunity to meet people who like to do the same things you do.
Looking for fun events in Paris to help you get out there and thrive? Subscribe to our newsletter below to get monthly updates on our latest articles, tips from our experts and community, and find interesting events in Paris:
Put yourself out there
One of the hardest parts of making friends can be making the first move. For those with this fear, we turn to the wise words of Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” You will still have some ‘misses’, but you’ll make a lot more friends than you would if you didn’t!
Learn the metro
The Paris metro is an incredible resource for anyone living in Paris. For those that are looking to live in Paris long-term, learning how to navigate the metro and the unofficial rules of using it is a big part of feeling comfortable in the city. Here are our key pieces of advice for using the metro in Paris like a Parisian!
Quick tip
Before you get your Navigo, you will likely have to purchase individual tickets for each trip. After you use these tickets, be sure to hold onto them until you have left the metro station. Some metros will require you to present these stamped tickets in order to exit the station, and controllers (the metro “police”) may ask to see them.
Get your Navigo ASAP!
Getting your Navigo is an essential part of living in Paris. The first step of getting your Navigo is deciding which card will make the most sense for you. Luckily, you can follow this link to see all available plans and find the one that matches your profile! Note that if you are over 65 years old, or a student you qualify for some great discounts.
Once you have found the plan that will work best for you, can easily sign up for your Navigo online. During this process you will need to upload a photo. This does not have to be an “official” photo, and you can even take one as you complete the form. You will then have the option to either order your Navigo to your home address, or a station near you. If you choose to have it sent to a station near you, be prepared with a valid photo ID when you pick it up!
Once you have your Navigo you should be good to go! You can also add more funds to your account and pay your bills through the Bonjour RATP app.
Staying out of the way
While this may seem a bit obvious, you’ll soon learn that it is not obvious for everyone! Some important things to remember are:
- Stay to the right – Whether it’s on the escalator or in the station, stick to the right unless you’re in a hurry.
- Let people out before going in – When your train arrives, be sure to leave room at the doors for people to get out before you try to get into the car.
- Stand when it’s crowded – You may have noticed that most metros have folding seats near the doors of the train. This is so that if the train gets crowded, people can stand to create more space.
- Hold your backpack – There’s nothing worse than trying to get off at your stop, and someone is completely unaware that their bag is blocking your way! If you’re carrying a backpack on a crowded metro, consider holding it in your hands or letting it rest on your feet.
Finding directions
You may have found that your regular go-to navigation apps are not quite as reliable in Paris. After living in Paris for a while, I have found that the best navigation app is CityMapper. If you’re looking to stay updated on the latest train delays and cancellations, two great resources are the SNCF X account, and the SNCF app!
Take notes
One of the best ways to learn about cultural norms, is to observe what other people do and copy that! When I first arrived in France, I noticed that when people entered a store they would greet the employees with “bonjour” and when they left they would say “bonjournée”. Even though I did not understand the difference at the time, I followed what they did and it began to make sense to me.
If you aren’t sure how to approach something, or what the “correct” way to do something is, take a look around and see if you can copy what someone else is doing! While this approach won’t work 100% of the time, it is still a great way to learn and adapt to a new culture.
Stay connected to your culture
As an expat, there becomes a sliding scale. On one end is assimilating into a new culture, and on the other end is maintaining your cultural identity. It can become difficult to balance the two as you begin to figure out what your life in Paris looks like, and who you are becoming.
You may feel some internal pressure to fully immerse yourself in French culture to make the most of your move. However, allowing yourself some comforts from home can make the transition easier, and are just nice to have. A great way to incorporate your cultural identity into your new life is to celebrate holidays from home with your new Parisian friends.
Embracing “laissez faire”
One aspect of French culture, that I would greatly encourage you to adopt is the “laissez faire” mindset. For those who are still catching up on your Duolingo lessons, “laissez faire” translates directly to “allow to do”. What this term really refers to is the idea of letting things take their course naturally, prioritizing personal freedoms, and not worrying about things that you cannot change now.
This lifestyle manifests itself in many ways through out French culture, and contributes to the French stereotype of being aloof. One of the ways I have seen the “laissez faire” mindset in France is the French commitment to work-life balance. If you have ever tried to get a French person to work late or perform their job after hours, you were probably met with resistance and some not nice looks. This is because the French view their work as a separate thing from themselves, and mostly see work as a way to fund the rest of their life. A great way I heard it explained once was “Americans live to work, and the French work to live.” Once you understand this concept, the French attitude and lifestyle starts to make much more sense.
Learn the French schedule
If you have lived in France for over a week, you have probably noticed that stores are not always on the same schedule with each other. For example: My local grocery is closed on Saturday afternoons and Sundays, the bakery is closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and the Tabac is only open when the owner is in a good mood. This is so that the employees of these stores can have adequate time off, while still catering to their client’s needs. It will take you a bit to pick up on the rhythms of your area, but once you know the “French schedule” it will be much easier to plan your week.
Another important facet of the “French schedule” is respecting when work hours end. As mentioned in the “laissez faire” section, the French truly prioritize their free time and life outside of work. As part of this, French employees will generally not appreciate it if you ask them to work outside of their normal hours, or if you approach them right before closing time. This can be difficult for those from customer-service oriented cultures (like the United States) to understand, it certainly was difficult for me! With time, you will understand French culture more and more, and things like this will start to make sense.
Find your staple products
One aspect of moving to a new country that can be surprisingly disorienting is not recognizing products or brands at stores. While the temptation to run to your nearest international market to find your go-to items will be strong, your bank account will thank you for persevering. Finding your new staple products and brands will take some trial and error, but once you can comfortably go into a grocery store and know exactly what you are buying it will be worth it!
New flavors and new kinds of food may be a bit intimidating for some, but you might be surprised by how much you like something! When I first arrived I was shocked by the variety and vastness of the options in the chip aisle at the grocery. I had never heard of a goat cheese flavored chip, and quite frankly did not expect to like it at all. While the goat cheese flavored chips are still not my favorites, I have found many unexpected flavors that I do enjoy.
You may also be surprised to find that some of your favorite products and brands taste differently in France than they do in your home country. This is because food production is very regulated in France, and companies may not be able to use certain ingredients that they are able to use in your home country. One of the biggest examples of this is the lack of artificial food dyes and limited use of sweeteners in French products. While at first this really bothered me, after almost 5 years in France I now prefer the French versions of many branded food products.
Making an effort to try new things and get more comfortable with grocery shopping early on in your relocation will help you to start living in Paris like a Parisian!
Stop and smell the roses
This piece of advice is as obvious as it sounds, take the time to enjoy living in Paris and all it has to offer. Take the scenic route, stop to take a picture, look around at the beauty around you and remember that this is what you worked so hard for! Even after living in France for many years, I still am amazed and feel extreme gratitude for my life here. Every time I take the time to notice the Haussmannian architecture, admire the Eiffel Tower, or savor a delicious croissant I remember when this life seemed so far away and unattainable.
These small peaceful moments of appreciation for your new home will help you remember that the hardest part of your move is over, and remind you to enjoy the smaller things. You came to Paris to live the good life, so allow yourself time and space to actually slow down and enjoy it.